The Infamous Time-Killing Countdown

10 Most Interesting Things I've Learned from Working at the Blockbuster Distribution Center:

TEN
There are two genres of black people movies: gun-slingin' gangsta movies, and Tyler Perry comedies.

NINE
Each decade that passes is an automatic excuse to re-release an old movie in a special "10th Anniversary Edition" cover for twice what it's worth.

EIGHT
Someone out there actually thinks Paris Hilton is hot, because she keeps showing up on the covers of movies that shouldn't even exist. And she's always wearing a miniskirt even though she looks like a blonde skeleton with a camel face. People, really?

SEVEN
The chicks in the poster for Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Move Film for Theaters actually are hot. Too bad they're probably nowhere in the actual movie. And they're just paintings.

SIX
Lord of the Rings and Halo both take themselves way too seriously. What the heck am I supposed to do with an 8-inch replica of Gollum sitting on a rock with a fish or a "life-sized" Master Cheif helmet?

FIVE
Anything put out by production company The Asylum is a 90-something minute stupidfest full of knock-off plot lines and crappy acting, with titles and cover art intentionally designed to make you confuse it for a popular best-selling box office hit. Examples include Transmorphers (Transformers), Monster (Cloverfield), and my personal favorite, AVH: Alien vs. Hunter (duh).

FOUR
It really is possible to trace any actor to Kevin Bacon through six degrees or less.

TREE
50-Cent's real name is Curtis Jackson. Apparently it's also impossible for him to say the word "the."

TWO
The cover of the Beatles' album Abbey Road depicts Paul - not John - walking barefoot. Interestingly enough, Paul is also the only one with his right foot forward, and he's the only one smoking. And the only one named Paul.

ONE
...And the #1 most interesting DC finding: Contrary to popular belief, Steamboat Willie is not an earlier form of Mickey Mouse, but rather a character he played in one of his first cartoons. It was the first Mickey Mouse cartoon with sound, and consequently the cartoon that single-handedly sky-rocketed the little guy's filmmaking career to super-stardom.

flippin' sweet.