This is my Alarm Clock.
It is now 11:54.
One minute away from a multiple of 5. I don't think I could be clinically diagnosed as having Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, but I would say I have a few similar tendencies. And if I did have OCD, I wouldn't call it that - because I don't like the idea of it being considered a disorder. That word always brings to mind an image of that 20-something-year-old dude whose parents still push him around in a wheelchair while he spends all day drooling and not being able to control his arms. I know, that's terrible. Also, bite me.Anyway, I would call it OCT for obsessive-compulsive tendencies, or OCBP for obsessive-compulsive behavioral patterns. Or even OCTNARD for obsessive-compulsive that's-not-a-real-disorder. But sometimes I wonder if I should get tested. I normally set my alarm based on how long I want to be asleep, rather than when I want to wake up. So instead of waking up at 6am every day, I'll figure out how many complete 90-minute sleep cycles I can get in before 6, and set an alarm for that many hours/minutes (e.g. if I go to sleep at 11:30, I know it takes about 5 minutes for me to fall asleep, so I'll set the timer for 6 hours and 5 minutes). The thing is, if it goes off at 5:23, I will set it for 2 more minutes and go back to sleep. I don't think it's actually possible for me to willingly get out of bed on a minute that's not a multiple of 5.
It is now 12:02.
The clock has this cool little projector thing that displays the time onto the walls/ceiling. It has a little focus wheel so that I can make sure it's clear no matter how far away the surface is from the projector lens. This little scrolling wheel kills me though, because I always want it to be perfectly focused. For some reason (read: because of my self-diagnosed OCTNARD), it really bothers me if the edges of the numbers are even the slightest bit blurry. I'll spend several minutes (5, to be exact) twisting that knob like a locksmith trying to get it to the precise middle ground between blurry and...well, blurry in the other direction.And it's hard to do when I'm really really tired because I never know if it looks blurry from being out of focus or just because I'm really really tired. I just about murdered one of my cats for knocking it off my headboard one day, simply because of the time I knew it would take for me to reposition it so that the time was displayed directly in the center of the bed, and was completely in focus on the ceiling. And by "almost murdered," I mean "became very irate at, and took my frustration out on my opponents in a few online StarCraft II matches." And by "a few," I mean ten. I would've stopped at 8 when I had had my fill, but I think that may have possibly caused a stress-induced rage-fit and made the situation worse for everyone involved.
It is now 12:11.
I wrote last time about how I've been lazy lately, but that I haven't gone out of my way to be lazy. Well, I recently discovered that this is not true. I would edit my post, but I follow a blogger's code which involves never editing your posts once published. But it only seems fitting to admit the truth, while I'm on the subject.There was a power outage sometime ago, and as is usually the case with power outages, every clock plugged into a wall reset to 12:00am once it came back on. I was really good about resetting the microwave clock, since that's how we gauge how late we are when getting ready in the morning. But for some reason, I never got around to resetting the alarm clock. And then the "overdue library book syndrome" took over and I spent days not doing it simply because I hadn't yet done it. Days turned to months, and months turned into me no longer counting how long it had been.
Eventually I decided something needed to be done about this clock. This clock which I adamantly refused to reset for some reason. It got to the point where if I reset it, the clock would have won. And I don't lose against electronics. I think they would revoke my Bayron card if I did. So I had to be one step ahead in this epic chess match of man vs. machine. I sat on the bed, stared it down long and hard in the face, and figured out just how far off the time was. I calculated that if I simply added 5 hours and 7 minutes to the time on the clock, I would be able to figure out what time it was without having to reset it. It was pure genius. Or maybe pure laziness. Or maybe...lazenius.
It is now 12:21.
The one exception to my 5's rule with clocks is that it can also be a palindrome of numbers. That means I have to go to bed now or wait 4 more minutes. But even then, when it's :25 or :55, there's a good chance I'll wait 'til the :30 or :00 (respectively), just because it's just so annoyingly close.Crap! 12:22.
What to do for 8 minutes...
-R.
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