Confessions

This might be a bad idea. These are all true, whether or not I'm proud of them or wish for them to continue being true.

• I pee in the shower.
• I have road rage, but only against BMW drivers.
• I swallow watermelon seeds because I'm too lazy to find something to spit them into.
• I love being naked.
• I hate getting wet.
• I still can't tell if I like showers.
• The only things I hate about other people are the things I hate about myself.
• I'm not as good at anything as you think I am.
• I would almost always rather be alone than around people.
• I like a couple Nickelback songs.
• I don't hold my dick when I pee.
• I often think I'm more influential than I actually am.
• When I'm alone, I try to lick my own elbow.
• I assume everyone likes me.
• I fear that no one does.
• I cross boundaries. On purpose.
• Sometimes, I refuse to acknowledge that time moves at the same rate for everyone.
• I'm still growing out of putting things off that I don't want to do.
• This list is longer than I thought it would be.
• I love peeing.