Dreams, Death and Donuts

Last night I dreamt that I was a man in my mid-thirty's, rugged and set in his ways, with a thick-skin and a rogue attitude from one too many rough patches in his past. I was living in an abandoned barn, quietly avoiding attention from the world. In the dream, I woke up to three siblings, ages 12 to 19 who had run away from home. I began to mentor them and do my best to set them on the right path, knowing full well what the wrong path was and having the experience to tell them where it led.

They learned how I lived - working for my food and fighting for my territory. The months passed and I enjoyed their company, but I knew there would come a time when they would have to go out and face the tragedy that drove them from their home. That day came sooner than I had expected, and I found myself standing outside the barn giving them farewell gifts: my 25-year-old wooden-handled hunting knife to the oldest son, my father's compass watch to the middle son, and a homemade hemp necklace with wooden beads to the youngest daughter. I told them the barn was theirs, threw a bag of survival tools and dried meat over my shoulder, and began to head into the sunset.

Men in suits entered the scene out of nowhere, set the barn on fire and began to beat and interrogate the children, asking where I was. Something was keeping me from being able to rescue them, although by that point I had come to love them as my own children. I knew that the suits were there because of the mistakes in my past, but I was helpless to save my disciple children from the consequences of my own transgressions. I remember crying for the first time in decades and running as far and as fast as I could. My last thought to myself before waking up was that my knives would dull and my meat would go stale, but nothing could ever erase the memory of those childrens' faces as they looked to me for the salvation I could not give.

I was out of breath when I woke up, and my fianceé said I was breathing hard and kicking my legs. I doubt this dream means anything but it has been haunting me all day. Writing these things down always helps lift the burden these types of dreams place on me. Still, I can't help but wonder what's going on in my subconscious to produce a dream like this.

----- IN OTHER NEWS -----

Awana. One of our Cubbies leaders is going on maternity leave, and as such has officially passed on the torch to yours truly. It will be my fianceé and I in the Cubbie room for the remainder of the current Awana season, and my prayer is that I will be able to take most of the load off her shoulders without overbearing myself. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28

My parents are in California to visit my mom's dad, as he has been diagnosed with a form of cancer and is not expected to survive. It can't be hard saying goodbye, my prayers are with them. They left today and are scheduled to return Wednesday. In the meantime, it is our job to hold down the fort at home, feed the dog, and visit our cat at the vet who is also dying. Maybe I shouldn't have fed him those Krispy Kremes...

19 DAYS!