I'll start with that.
I woke up with a headache, I was behind in my work, and it seemed that every customer in the building was hellbent on keeping me from catching up. I took a 5-minute break to meditate outside and find my "happy place." It was London in the 1800's. Sitting atop that roof inhaling the cool, clear breeze as I looked down upon flame-lit street lamps and horse-drawn carriages really put my mind at ease. It put my spirit at ease. I was able to finish my day with grace and efficiency.
Well, yesterday I needed another 5-minute meditation break. It was a very similar situation. Only, due to the change in my job title, it was the likes of event coordinators and booking managers and our billing and accounting departments that kept me from my to-do list, rather than whiny customers. Either way, I needed to escape for five minutes to exist somewhere not work-related. This time it was an empty classroom.
I sat in the dark, legs crossed, with my hands strategically placed in front of my sacral chakra, palms facing inward. I practiced deep breathing and calmed my mind. In no time at all, I found myself sitting on Big Ben, looking down on the same scene as before. Only this time, as soon as I began to relax and enjoy the breeze, the scene was ripped apart as if it were an image printed on a sheet of paper that was being pulled in 12 directions at once.
I heard the rip - I felt it. Other scenes of tranquility that I've used in the past began to flash in and out of my mind's eye - a glass dome in a rain forest, a tree house in the heart of the jungle, a solitary island in the middle of the pacific. Each scene appeared for a fraction of a second, only to be replaced by another. Finally, I landed in the desert.
The earth beneath me burned my feet. I saw a stone about 2½ feet in length, sliding across the rocky desert surface as if being magnetically pulled across the expanse of sand - or perhaps it was moving by its own will alone.
I thought to myself "how is this supposed to be a happy place?" As soon as the thought left my mind, the sky turned to night as if a deep blue blanket were suddenly thrown over the sky. The moon glowed with the intensity of the sun, and the stars screamed out for attention as they painted the earth with a soft blue glow.
I laid back and began to take it in, when all of a sudden, more rocks like the first one came out of nowhere, glowing with a bright white light. There were seven of them. They circled above me, then exploded into different directions. I stood, bewildered. They had gathered behind me. One stone swept my feet out from under me as the other six cradled me...catching me. They lifted me up toward the sky and the stars shone brighter and clearer than ever.
It was amazing.
Once I realized that I had been ascending for quite a while, I looked down to see how far I'd gone. The instant I began to ponder my height, the stones lost their glow and dumped me out. They didn't disappear, they didn't just move out from under me - they dumped me out. As I fell, the lights in the sky faded and darkness swept the surface of the sand. Just before I landed, my eyes opened and I awoke with a gasp.
I was sitting in the classroom...in the dark. My hands were gripping the floor next to me; my fingers had dug themselves into the carpet. I was out of breath and I had tears streaming from both my eyes.
I took a few moments to gather myself up.
It was supposed to be relaxing. I rationalized that I probably fell asleep and was dreaming. If so, then it was the most vivid dream I've ever had in my life. Dream or not, I cannot help but think that this radical meditative experience has to mean something.
And here's the strangest part: I understood.
Just like before, I felt a peace. But it wasn't a relaxing peace. It was just a...peace. When people said things, I understood what they meant. But it wasn't just that - I understood them. I could see what they were trying to communicate. I could hear their intentions. I continued to return e-mails and handle my responsibilities, but everything seemed to fit into some grand scheme that for some reason I had never noticed before.
It's like if someone painted an immaculate painting across the entire Wall of China, and I was walking along looking at it up close, one detail at a time - never thinking that if I were to take a step back, I could actually see what it's a painting of.
Even today things have been making a lot more sense. It's to the extent that I feel stupid for going all this time without seeing how some things in my life are connected - how they influence each other.
I've always been a "big picture" thinker, but what do you do when you find that your entire big picture can fit between the pixels on the HDTV of the universe?
I am such a geek.
Well, it's 11pm and this geek has a lot to process. Be sure to check back tomorrow for my Facebook Fridays post. It should be good. If not, I'm just gonna make stuff up.
This is all for now.
-R.
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