Another Life

If you think about it, it's like a conversation. You're just waiting for your turn to talk - or in my case, looking for the right words.

You ask her the question. Maybe then you'll notice the music. See, it's the music that really speaks to you...that tells you what to do. All you have to do is listen.

Maybe you won't remember which song was playing, or even what you were wearing. You'll only be left with the dance. One moment of passion that will last long after the music is over.

That's what swing dancing was to me. In a past life, I ran with the best. I would be found in jam circles with the likes of Don West, Jerry and Kathy Warwick, Elaine Hewlett. I was in the front line during the shim sham, back when the Frankie Manning version was all anyone knew. I was in a professional performance team called ACME, and we danced to live bands in front of 3,000 people. Once I even did a standing back flip in the middle of a Charelston solo, center stage.

...but it was never about any of that for me. It was about showing up to the swing clubs downtown unannounced and unnoticed, and dancing in the corner with my beautiful and amazing partner, who is now my wife. It was about being invisible while making her look the best of all the girls on the floor.

But that was another life. I find that I cherish memories more easily when they're written down. I guess it's just nice to open the window every now and then, even if just for that quick glance out into the 'remember when's.

-R.

Nothing like modern vintage art.

As a loyal follower of all things Nintendo (especially Mario), I feel morally obligated to share this drawing, entitled Mario's Closet:

Artist Glen Brogan's whimsical take on our favorite Italian plumber's morning ritual. "I wanted to include as many of his power-ups as possible, but the main rule I had to follow was that I couldn't include things that actually transform Mario himself rather that just changing his wardrobe, like the Boo mushroom from Mario Galaxy" -digg

Also, I want that underwear.

Pieces of my Brain. Nom Nom Nom.

If my brain were a website, this post would be the site map.

SLEEPING
Recently I've had a  tendency to wake up in the wee hours of the morning spouting random yet relatively profound statements, such as "Monopoly's biggest flaw is that it operates on an inadequate representation of the current cashflow system utilized in our modern economy, through the elimination of certain key elements such as debt and interest...ZZzzz."

WRITING
I've been trying to make reality out of an idea I've been chewing on lately...it's a novelette--a bite-sized piece of literary indulgence, if you will.  In short it's my re-imagining of a classic and well-known tale about an Italian plumber's adventures battling a giant angry turtle-esque creature.

READING
Now that I'm temporarily done with school and have earned some semblance of a degree, I intend to spend the following semester catching up on some non-mandatory reading.  I have a list of books, but I just need to put myself on a schedule to make sure they all actually get read in time.

DRAWING
I need to draw more to keep myself from getting too rusty before art school starts in August.  When I have an intention to draw something specific, I'm never satisfied with the result; however, when I'm just sketching whimsically while half paying attention to something else (usually someone talking at me), the stuff that comes out is decent.

PAINTING
I started painting something about a month ago, but I quit because it looked like butt.  Not a butt, just...butt-tastic.  Y'know what I mean?  Anyway, I've had some ideas of what to do to salvage it, but I just can't seem to make the time to get my butt out there and paint it.  But I am getting tired of looking at its butt-ness, so I need to just do it.

CHRISTIAN-ING
My faith has definitely gone through its share of challenges this year.  I've been very open to a lot of new ideas, and it has been a spiritual workout comparing everything to what I know about God and the bible.  Especially when it's comparing the bible to the bible, which is a lot more intellectually demanding than it sounds.  I've got some short- and long-term goals about what I'm going to do to cultivate my faith this coming year, rather than just maintain it.

MUSIC-ING
This "-ing" thing is going downhill fast.  I am still teaching guitar on Saturdays, and I'm still making 40 bucks an hour for it.  It's good to have a weekly refresher to remind myself that I'm actually a guitarist.  However, as of late, my time at the store has been spent either teaching guitar, or teaching myself how to play the songs from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog on piano.  I can do all of the first episode, which is apparently only impressive to Whedonites.

BLOGGING
I'm always thinking of things to write, and over time I've developed quite a filter.  Most of the things I think of are not things I can imagine anyone else being interested in.  I write those too, I just don't publish them.  I try to blog often, to give my racing brain an outlet, and always write as if I'm some kind of columnist who gets paid for it.  But I always wonder if my posts are as interesting to others as they are to me.

WORKING
My work situation is fluid.  I say that because it's always changing.  And because it would look cool in a lava lamp.  For better or for worse, it will be changing again at the end of May, provided all goes as planned.  We're about to make a big life change, and I really hope and pray that my work situation will be solid throughout the process.

PLAYING
I know that I get addicted to video games very easily.  Instead of trying to exercise self control (psh), my wife and I have agreed that whenever I buy a game that I know will suck me in, I am allowed to be addicted to it for a month, and then it must be shelved, only to be played infrequently and casually.  But knowing that I will be cut off in a month makes the gameplay period that much more intense, because I have to beat the entire game in a month or else I will die.

TALKING
I've realized that I talk a lot.  And I have a lot of opinions on things that don't matter.  I find that those two facts converge and create the reality in which I live every single day: I speak my mind on every topic I have the least bit of knowledge about.  One of those things is grammar, which is why the previous sentence is killing me.  But I find that I learn so much more when I listen and let others speak.

LISTENING
My taste in music is changing rapidly.  Recently I created a Pandora station based on Regina Spektor, Imogen Heap, Kate Micucci, and the band She & Him.  Somehow the station miraculously changed its name to "Chick Songs for Dudes."  I'm okay with that.  I also have a mix based on Explosions in the Sky, The Postal Service, and Playradioplay.  I had no idea who any of those artists were a year ago, and I will probably be listening to something entirely different another year from now.

That's all for now.

And then there were three.

When faced with criticism, whether constructive or destructive, people of the blogging persuasion inevitably tend to incline themselves toward a post full of negative comments pointed at either themselves those those who offered the criticism. They ask rhetorical questions that generally revolve around the word "why," and feel the need to defend themselves.

I usually try to keep this blog up-beat, so I'm going to keep things positive. The purpose of this post is more along the lines of getting my thoughts down, so that I can later organize them into some kind of plan for improvement. Any insights from the outside world would be greatly appreciated.

A GOOD Work Ethic.

I used to define a good work ethic as the ability to always work hard and do your best. I have that ability, yet my work ethic needs improving. One of the things I learned about myself at my last job was that I work hardest and seek to produce the best work when I have an immediate goal or reward. In the case of RMCN, there were 3 people in my position, and only one promotion available. We all knew that in one month's time, one of us was getting a promotion and the raise that came with it. Well, I got the promotion. But the interesting thing is, looking back, that that was my best month the entire time I worked there. And it's because as soon as I was promoted, I was pretty much at the top of the ladder I was on. It was a 6-year-young company, so there wasn't really much room for "jumping ladders." I began to slack and my production went out the window.

All this to say, I have the ability to work really really hard and produce really really good results, but I only seem to do it when there's a carrot dangling in front of my face. Thus, I'm at the point where a good work ethic is not only the ability, but the desire to always work hard and produce great work. One who doesn't need a pat on the back or a reward around the corner. One who endeavors to put his best foot forward 110% of the time regardless of whether anyone even notices or not. This is pretty much the opposite of me. So if I don't have a good work ethic, but it's not terrible either, what kind of work ethic do I have?

A Natural Work Ethic.

I mean to say that my work ethic shares certain properties with nature. It follows some of the same rules, such as the laws of energy conservation and the path of least resistance. A windmill won't work unless there's wind to spin it. In the same way, I won't work (hard) unless there's something I want within my reach, that I might obtain through said work. It's not that I refuse; it's just that it stops occurring to me to go above and beyond. Once I get to a point where I'm not working toward something, I literally start forgetting steps in the process and generate a habitual apathy toward my duties.

This is not good.

I've begun to look at people who are notorious for their work ethic. Anywhere from Abe Lincoln to Charles Schwab to Will Smith (yes, seriously), even to a close friend of mine who always amazes me with how hard he works all the time, even when it's just mowing lawns. What they all have in common is that they had to learn it. They all were taught it by someone who had it.

I call my work ethic "natural" because it's what comes naturally to me. I am working actively to become a better painter, a better husband, a better friend. But it's never occurred to me to grow myself in the area of work ethic. They always say to surround yourself with people who are what you want to become. Maybe that's the answer. Or maybe it's just that I need to study up on how to be self-motivated, because all this rambling is really centered around just that: motivation.

I work hard when I'm motivated, and I don't when I'm not. Here are the main things that motivate me:

- Promotions (which ironically involve more work) and raises and pats on the back. These are all grouped into one point because they all pertain to work and usually come as a package deal.

- Learning. But this only applies to things I want to learn. For example, I'm willing to spend 9.99 on an iPhone app that teaches Japanese. I'm not willing to spend 5 minutes taking a quiz on the company I work for (except for when it's assigned). I'm motivated to do something if it involves learning something I'm interested in learning.

- Creative Outlet. I am motivated to do things if they provide an opportunity for me to create something. RMCN inadvertently did this for me, and it's one of the few things I liked about working there. All the pictures on that site are of my desk at that job.

- My Wife. I've saved the best for last. My wife can pretty much motivate me to do anything. 'Nuff said.

So what I ultimately need to do in order to grow a work ethic is just that: grow. My boss reminded me of three things today that I didn't do. It's not that I forgot that they needed to be done, I just forgot to do them...if that makes sense. I need to figure out A) how to stay motivated when there is no immediate monetary reward for hard work, and B) how to remember things I need to remember, rather than those which I just want to remember.

So now it's wisdom, humility, and work ethic.

-Ryan