Checking In

My computer keeps giving me the blue screen of death. I am 98% certain it's iTunes-related, which makes it all the more ironic that I'm using my iPhone to write this.

I set some goals for myself exactly a month ago, and now that it's officially February, I'm taking my first peek over my shoulder at the last 31 days to see how everything's gone.

My own personal brand of logic dictates that if I can be disciplined enough to take one photo a day with my phone for a month, I just might be able to do other more significant tasks with a similar amount of regularity. Currently I have 31 pictures from January.

I've also put together a list of twelve non-fiction books I want to read this year (ideally at a rate of one per month), and I'm happy to report that I just finished the first one this past week.

I've put myself on a plan to work out hardcore Tue-Fri every week to get back in shape. The first couple weeks were torture, but I'm slowly getting there and have the photos to show it.

...but then there's that creed. The creed based on such a great idea. The creed that was to change who I was and how I lived this one life that has been given to me. It worked out great at first like all these silly things do, but a couple weeks in I started thinking that maybe I'd bitten off more than I could chew. It became extremely difficult and exhausting to live up to every facet of that freakin' creed every moment of every day.

But y'know what? You don't win a race by jogging. All the great thinkers of the world were also great doers. In one of the greatest movies of all time, a quitting athelete offers this explanation her coach: "It just got too hard," to which the coach replies,

"It's supposed to be hard. It's the hard that makes it great. If it was easy, everyone would do it."

You can't rise to a challenge that doesn't exist. If it's not
challenging, you're not growing from it. And this year is supposed to be about growth for me, so I say bring on the creed.

It's been a great month and, all things considered, I'm off to a great start. But I can top January and I fully intend to.

Oh, and here's my pic of the day:



Styrofoam cup + pen which I used as an engraving tool = reason #47 why I am a guitar teacher.

Stay tuned, folks
-R.

Godzilla hates Japanese people.

I'm not an insomniac.  But I do find myself having daydreams...only at night, when I'm supposed to be sleeping.

My apologies, but the nerd within me is forcing me to take a second to point out that the above sentence embodies quite perfectly the mess that is modern American colloquial vernacular, in that it focuses on the topic of  daydreams, while simultaneously contradicting the  very meaning of the word on all accounts, but does so without sacrificing the grammatical integrity of the sentence as a whole - an act which is a paradox unto itself.

Anyway.  I know it's time to empty my brain when I start finding new constellations in the glow-in-the-dark stars I put on my roof about two years ago.

The back story there is that since before we were dating, Glennda wanted me to go stargazing with her.  We never found the time or the place, so I eventually just dropped ten bucks at Party City and we "stargazed" in my bedroom.  But we were engaged by then so it wasn't weird.  She commented that they weren't all that bright, and I shot back with this line (that, looking back, was quite cheesy, but seemed awesome at the time): "Stars shine brighter when you look with your heart."

The point is, we go to bed.  We watch recorded TV shows.  Glennda falls asleep.  Then I watch the Science Channel until I fall asleep.  Or, I watch the Science Channel for 3 hours and then blog because my mind is racing.  And right now, it's going so fast it would make Speed Racer pee himself.  And it would make Godzilla destroy Tokyo, 'cause he'd be all like "Why is that guy's brain going so fast!?  I hate Japanese people!!"

I normally don't post these...well, posts.  What I love about blogger is that you can save stuff as drafts.  That way, you can still keep personal journal-like entries without putting them out there for the interwebs to devour.  Like one time I wrote this song about gnomes and leprechauns and birds that give live birth instead of laying eggs.  I was so proud of the perfect meter of the song that I had to write it down somewhere, but when I read it back to myself, it was less of a clever song and more of an essay that should've been be entitled  "Why All My Friends Stopped Talking To Me."

So here I am, brain-vomiting all the nonsensical imaginings that keep popping in and out of my head like tiny bits of inter-dimensional popcorn or those subatomic particles of anti-matter that people like Stephen Hawking claim are the cause of the shrinking and eventual demise of black holes all throughout the universe.

What??  I have no earthly idea what I just said.  But I'm sure it made perfect sense.

Well, my brain seems to be slowing down now.  And I know I must be falling asleep because I just deleted three paragraphs of understandably random yet fantastically entertaining text, which took me approximately seven minutes to write (give or take seven minutes).  And I can't tell you why I deleted it because as of this very second, I don't even remember what it said.  Are you as confused as I am?

Good night, Neverland.

Pbthbpbth.

-R.

Ode to Bear

(To be sung to the tune of the song "We're Off to See the Wizard")

Oh, my cat drinks from the toilet,
And no one can figure out why.
It's not because he's thirsty, 'cause
His water bowl's not even dry!

If ever you wonder if cats are weird,
Just look at the one that I've got here.
Because, because, because, because, becaaauuuusse
Because of the curious things he does.

(Da-da-da-da-da-da-da, da-dum)

Oh, my cat's a freaking weirdo,
Because he drinks out of the john!

(Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-da-da ba-da-da ba-dum)

Anime Cat!!

-R.

Getting there...

So I scanned in the tattoo sketch and cleaned it up in Photoshop.  The three main components are the Servant, the cross, and the compass.  I always knew the cross would be over his head, but it's the compass that's getting to me.  Here are the two ideas I'm torn between:

This was my first instinct.  My only reservation is that the initial sketch was pretty well contained within the circular border of the compass.  This kind of separates the elements and creates focal confusion.

This is a more accurate representation of the original sketch, all the way down to the size and placement of the compass' outer ring.  It looks more like a compass and is easier on the eyes.

When I compare the two, the first one looks more edgy.  Like a lot more.  It also slightly resembles a Victorian Catholic crucifix.  The second one is more true to the original, but there's still just something about it that's rubbing me the wrong way.

The shape of a tattoo really determines where it goes on the body.  The first one would probably go on my shoulder, whereas the second I would put on my chest.  It all depends on that dadgum compass.

This is all for now.

The Posture of Servitude

I took what I said in my last post and turned it into a creed.  It's not the culmination of everything I believe; it's not a mission statement.  It's somewhere between an oath and a motto.  It's something I can recite to myself when I'm faced with a challenge, need to make a decision, or just need a reminder of what I stand for.

I've named it the Humble Servant's Creed:

I will never quit, I will never give up.
I will finish what I start, and only start what I can finish.
I will meditate on the Lord and cherish His blessings.
In the pursuit of wisdom, I will speak less and listen more.
I will remember that being able to fall is more powerful than being able to fight.
And when I do fall, I will fall forward, and pause on my knees
To pray before I rise again.


I'm conceptualizing a tattoo that will represent this.  The idea is that of a man kneeling on one knee, head bowed and arms spread: the posture of servitude.  In one hand, he holds a hammer to symbolize a solid work ethic, and in the other, a rope to signify the bonds of friendship and love.  Above him is a cross to show that God reigns in his life.  Behind him, a compass to guide him in the right direction.

Here's a mock-up.

I drew it at work in a hurry, and it needs refining, but that's the general idea.  I don't know if I want to make it look more realistic or more symbolic, but right now it's kind of DaVinci-esque.  Either way, it's definitely going on one of my forearms.  Or my chest maybe.

That's all for now.

UPDATE

Got the tat.

Artist: Jay Joree 

Location: Last Angels Tattoos - Henderson

Quite the To-Do list

I downloaded an app called Project365.  It looks like this.

Well, that's what I've got so far.  I won't insult your intelligence by explaining how it works.  But the whole concept got me thinking.  By this time next year, I'll have something to look back on from every single day in 2010.  But what do I have from 2009?  Then I remembered this little thing called a blog, in which I am writing this very moment.  So I went back and read all my posts from 2009, and here's what I found.

January

Not much of anything.  No posts.  I remember being jobless and struggling with bills, so I can understand why I didn't blog.

February

I started working for Kaplan, founded Empty Canvas Studios, and began to fight my demons more seriously and aggressively than ever before.  Glennda and I went to a comedy club for our 1-year anniversary.  Things definitely started looking up.

March

I only posted once in March, and it was about a couple of events that ultimately served to strengthen my faith, which was exactly what I was needing.

May

No posts in April either, but May's posts are full of deep reflection on life and the things I've learned.  I talked about the importance of knowing how to fall.

July

Nothing in June.  But July has more heavy schtuff.  I found a new way to study the bible, and I learned that the key to winning my wife's trust is finishing what I start.

August

I delved into more Eastern philosophies.  It was incredibly stimulating trying to figure out how it all weighs against biblical teachings.  I took meditation to a whole new level.

September

We saw the movie 9, which once again awoke the philosopher in me.  Although I saw it again last week and I'm not sure if my initial take was completely accurate.

October

We started Financial Peace University, which radically changed the way we looked at our finances, and ultimately our future.  We took a second look at our plan and made some major changes.  We feel like we're more on track now.  Go team.

November

I began to really focus on learning what it means to be humble.  I resolved to speak less and seek wisdom often.

December

My December posts consist of introspective review and nostalgic sentiment.  I don't remember looking back with a "year in review" mindset, but I guess that attitude was present nonetheless.

...

I've never been much for New Years resolutions.  The wife and I decided at the beginning of 2009 that we would spend the year working toward acquiring a cash car and a $1000 emergency fund.  And about eight months in, we had both.  This year, my focus will be less monetary.  I learned a lot this past year, so this year I will seek to apply them.

I will remember how to fall.  I will finish what I start - especially the things I started in February.  I will meditate on the Lord.  I will continue to manage our finances wisely.  I will speak less and listen more.  I will pursue wisdom.

I've heard it said that the mind is like a parachute: it doesn't matter what you fill it with, so long as it's open at the right time.

So will I make a New Years resolution?  No.  But my goal is that by this time next year, I will be able to look back not only on what I learned this year, but more importantly, what I did about it.  Also, 365 pictures that I took with my phone.

-R.