This is my Alarm Clock.

This is my Alarm Clock.

It is now 11:54.

One minute away from a multiple of 5.  I don't think I could be clinically diagnosed as having Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, but I would say I have a few similar tendencies.  And if I did have OCD, I wouldn't call it that - because I don't like the idea of it being considered a disorder.  That word always brings to mind an image of that 20-something-year-old dude whose parents still push him around in a wheelchair while he spends all day drooling and not being able to control his arms.  I know, that's terrible.  Also, bite me.

Anyway, I would call it OCT for obsessive-compulsive tendencies, or OCBP for obsessive-compulsive behavioral patterns.  Or even OCTNARD for obsessive-compulsive that's-not-a-real-disorder.  But sometimes I wonder if I should get tested.  I normally set my alarm based on how long I want to be asleep, rather than when I want to wake up.  So instead of waking up at 6am every day, I'll figure out how many complete 90-minute sleep cycles I can get in before 6, and set an alarm for that many hours/minutes (e.g. if I go to sleep at 11:30, I know it takes about 5 minutes for me to fall asleep, so I'll set the timer for 6 hours and 5 minutes).  The thing is, if it goes off at 5:23, I will set it for 2 more minutes and go back to sleep.  I don't think it's actually possible for me to willingly get out of bed on a minute that's not a multiple of 5.

It is now 12:02.

The clock has this cool little projector thing that displays the time onto the walls/ceiling.  It has a little focus wheel so that I can make sure it's clear no matter how far away the surface is from the projector lens.  This little scrolling wheel kills me though, because I always want it to be perfectly focused.  For some reason (read: because of my self-diagnosed OCTNARD), it really bothers me if the edges of the numbers are even the slightest bit blurry.  I'll spend several minutes (5, to be exact) twisting that knob like a locksmith trying to get it to the precise middle ground between blurry and...well, blurry in the other direction.

And it's hard to do when I'm really really tired because I never know if it looks blurry from being out of focus or just because I'm really really tired.  I just about murdered one of my cats for knocking it off my headboard one day, simply because of the time I knew it would take for me to reposition it so that the time was displayed directly in the center of the bed, and was completely in focus on the ceiling.  And by "almost murdered," I mean "became very irate at, and took my frustration out on my opponents in a few online StarCraft II matches."  And by "a few," I mean ten.  I would've stopped at 8 when I had had my fill, but I think that may have possibly caused a stress-induced rage-fit and made the situation worse for everyone involved.

It is now 12:11.

I wrote last time about how I've been lazy lately, but that I haven't gone out of my way to be lazy.  Well, I recently discovered that this is not true.  I would edit my post, but I follow a blogger's code which involves never editing your posts once published.  But it only seems fitting to admit the truth, while I'm on the subject.

There was a power outage sometime ago, and as is usually the case with power outages, every clock plugged into a wall reset to 12:00am once it came back on.  I was really good about resetting the microwave clock, since that's how we gauge how late we are when getting ready in the morning.  But for some reason, I never got around to resetting the alarm clock.  And then the "overdue library book syndrome" took over and I spent days not doing it simply because I hadn't yet done it.  Days turned to months, and months turned into me no longer counting how long it had been.

Eventually I decided something needed to be done about this clock.  This clock which I adamantly refused to reset for some reason.  It got to the point where if I reset it, the clock would have won.  And I don't lose against electronics.  I think they would revoke my Bayron card if I did.  So I had to be one step ahead in this epic chess match of man vs. machine.  I sat on the bed, stared it down long and hard in the face, and figured out just how far off the time was.  I calculated that if I simply added 5 hours and 7 minutes to the time on the clock, I would be able to figure out what time it was without having to reset it.  It was pure genius.  Or maybe pure laziness.  Or maybe...lazenius.

It is now 12:21.

The one exception to my 5's rule with clocks is that it can also be a palindrome of numbers.  That means I have to go to bed now or wait 4 more minutes.  But even then, when it's :25 or :55, there's a good chance I'll wait 'til the :30 or :00 (respectively), just because it's just so annoyingly close.

Crap!  12:22.

What to do for 8 minutes...

-R.

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This is my Radio.

This is my Truck Radio.

Sort of.

I saw a promotional video recently about the most classic American tale of male laziness: the guy watching TV who will do just about anything to be able to change the channel from across the room - even if it expends more energy than simply walking to the TV and pushing a button.

When he spots the remote, it is sitting conveniently atop a shelf on the other side of the room.  When throwing things at the remote doesn't work, he tries to get his dog (which kind of looks like Falcor) to fetch it.  Once he realizes that won't work, he lets out a sigh and gets off the couch.  But wait, it's not over.  The next thing we see is him holding the Falcor-dog inches away from the remote on the shelf, begging him to fetch it.  When the dog knocks it off, he covers it with peanut butter and tries again.

Now, this is an extremely exaggerated example of the whole going-out-of-your-way-to-be-lazy idiom, but you get the idea.  I wouldn't say I've been trying excessively hard to be lazy lately, but after picking up the pace on the whole life-maintenance thing, it's gotten really easy to see how lazy I've been these past few months.  Not the lethargic, sloth-esque laziness.  More like the "I really don't feel like doing anything right now" laziness.

I have two perpetually recycling lists floating around in my head at all times: things I need to buy and things I need to do.  I underwent a veritable brain boot camp about half a year ago, and I learned a great deal of techniques for remembering things, so retaining these lists is not a problem for me.  Actually taking care of the things on the lists is what has been the challenge.  The buying list never seemed to pose a threat to my getting-stuff-done-ness; but the doing...that's another story.  None of my tasks are particularly difficult or time consuming: sending back the Netflix DVD, building shelves from a desk we took apart, filing all of our bills and such, and taking out / repairing my truck's stereo, to name a few.  The reason these things have stayed on my list for so long is simply this:

At no point in my day do any of these tasks seem more fun or interesting than playing StarCraft II for hours on end.  

I know, I know.  Just let it go, I'm workin' on it.

But seriously.  Remember how the last post was about just sucking it up and doing the things that need to be done?  Well this is taking it one step further.  Not only do I need to keep up with all the recurring life-maintenance things, but I also need to treat my personal to-do list like the one I have at work.  At the end of every work day, I make sure that everything on my plate is either taken care of or in someone else's court.  If I were to do that at home with all of my random yet important tasks, I think the Wife would be much more happy.

Because even though I am in the Gold League on Battle.net and I'm quickly climbing the ladder of division ranks, somehow that is significantly less impressive to her than the fact that I did the dishes and folded laundry today.

So here's to finally getting around to taking out my truck's stereo, cracking it open and rescuing the CD's it's been holding hostage for all this time.  By the end of this month, I plan to have a clear to-do list.

Because that way, I can play Starcraft II for hours on end.  And not feel bad afterwards.  Or like, y'know, feel like I'm going to die from sleep deprivation.

That's all for now.

-R.

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